What Really Makes You Happy?
- Posted by reyalP on November 04, 2007 November 4th, 2007 filed in Inner Game, Less Is More, Social Life, Women Chase You
After waking up, I leap out of bed, almost breaking my neck in the process. I frantically rush to turn on my cellphone to check for messages. Panic sets in as there are no messages after having my phone on for twenty-five seconds. Suddenly, relief washes over me as I hear a beep notifying me that two of the fifteen girls replied to my three paragraph SMS I sent the evening before. One of the girls seems like a promising prospect as we have been texting back-n-forth for over two months now. Even though my hands have become mangled claws from constantly calling, texting, emailing and reaching out to girls in every way possible, it will all be worth it if I can just add one more notch to my belt this week!
Since my life is entirely devoted to pursuing women and getting numbers, naturally I put on some clothes and head straight to the mall to sarge. On the way there, I see fifty hot girls across the street so I sprint through traffic without hesitation to tell each one how beautiful she is, getting honked at by drivers and barely escaping death (not to do so would make me an EXCUSER!)
After spending eight hours straight walking in circles around the mall regurgitating canned routines to girls, security kicks me out so they can lock-up. I’ve approached so many women today that I broke my old record — I can do a thousand now. Most of the girls told me they have boyfriends, others make up strange excuses and walk away, a few laugh, a few run; However, I manage to get heaps of numbers — looks like it’s going to be another busy night of calling and texting girls!
Sounds silly, huh? The funniest part is that at one time that was my life…
Things finally changed for me when I stood back and saw that lifestyle for how hilariously pathetic it was. Chasing women all day is not all it’s cracked up to be, no matter how many approaches are done, no matter how many numbers/dates/lays are got. Being able to say “I worked hard to get to where I am” is not a virtue, it’s just poor time-management.
There are all those stories out there about guys got to where they are The Hard Way™ after spending years busting their backs trying to shape their lives around their women, until one day they finally either got so frustrated and exhausted with the old way that they sought out a new, easier way of being. Suddenly those guys discovered that by doing less, they got more.
Do you really want to do things The Hard Way™ like I did? Or are you ready for things to be effortless?
The good news is that you don’t have to go down that road I did (unless you want to give up any semblance of meaningful lifestyle that you might already have). It can all be avoided by asking yourself this one question: What really makes me happy?
Not surprisingly, for me the answer had nothing to do with getting a hundred phone numbers a day or dating a dozen women at once. In fact, the answer was far off, completely unrelated — it’s no wonder it took so long for me to find! (Actually, it was more like finding it again.)
For me the answer was replacing all that time I spent pursuing women with a meaningful lifestyle. It was getting back to going out to have a good time, instead of going out to pickup girls. It was rediscovering all my passions in life I’d left behind. It was pursuing the dreams in life that I knew would make all the difference.
The irony of it all is that aside from removing the stress and frustration that comes with making pursuing women a full-time job, living life for myself radically changed everything because women now pursued me. I’d finally given them the opportunity they wanted to chase after me! It has been a wild ride ever since, but that’s another story…
What really makes YOU happy?
Popularity: 19% [?]
January 8th, 2008 at 2:14 am
Damn this shit it spot on. Another person referred this post to me. I wrote a similar one. I am just starting to dedicate myself to finding out what really makes me happy and doing that instead of pursuing girls. For the longest time I have forced onto myself a false reality, a reality that dictates that hooking up with a bunch of girls will make me happy. Now that I know it’s bs, I am ready to commit to making some solid changes.
May 3rd, 2008 at 2:46 am
Being happy with yourself before looking for someone else to be happy with you is so critical to our well-being.
It’s also HUGE when it comes to finding the right girl. If you’re secure with yourself, you will look at meeting a woman as an enrichment to your life, and even as a chance for you to offer value to someone else, instead of looking for someone to fill the void of emptiness in your heart.
If you’re happy, you can walk away from any woman because you don’t feel like you need her, and it’s that indifference that makes you tenfold more attractive because it shows that you are secure enough to walk away.
June 20th, 2008 at 8:44 pm
Ok ive had a MAJOR shift in my beingness and this post of yours finally makes sense:
http://keepyourpower.com/articles/2007/11/04/what-really-mak...
Holy shit thatpost is so true. Ive reached that stage now. I had an interesting past few weeks.
I think it was one girl who pushed me over the edge. There i was being nice and polite and she was acting like an ULTRA BITCH. She was being impolite for no reason and there i was being calm and doing what the community tells us to do ” be alpha, unreactive etc etc”
It kinda made me think and i feel it was a blessing in disguise. Why on earth was i tolerating such behaviour?
As i went home and lied on my bed i began to think,and ponder upon everything ive done and learned so far. I went deep inside my mind and was totally honest with myself.
Why was i constantly “sarging” and constantly trying to get X amount of lays? I realy thought about it.
I really give it some deep thought. It took me back to my childhood. Up until the age of 9/10 i was awesome with girls. I was full of confidence and self esteem. I had my first gf at about 5, girls would chase me all over the playground, my sisters friends would chase me around and tell my sisters they wanted to date me. I was a little pimp.
But that little pimp in me was killed. I grew up in a house full of women. I have 6 sisters and 4 of them are older than me, 2 younger. Anyway, my elder sisters became hardcore feminists because they went to an all girls school.
As i was growing up i was made to feel guilty for being a man and i recall the first people to call me “ugly” were my sisters. At that age ( 12-13 ) i was being compared to men like brad pitt, keanu reeve, tom cruise. You can see where this is going. My sisters would call me ugly and then idolise these men.
In my mind i put two and two together and figured that in order to be handsome or attractive, id have to be like those men my sisters found attractive. My self esteem was killed. Totally destroyed. I was very confused.
By the time i joined high school, i was a total wreck. The first day i joined ( i was 14 ), some girl asked me out but i so strongly believed i wasnt worthy that i assumed it was a practical joke that was being played on me, due to the programming i recieved from my home life.
It continued like that all the way till my late teens.
Anyway, what i did was use the vortex technique from the sedona method and i let go of my story. I let it all go. I let go of the reason i had low self esteem. I found more and more false programming that made me feel bad, and that was from either society or the community. ( i could write a list of them for u if u need )
Anyway, what happend was that when i let it all go a funny thing happend. I was reset back to default. Before i let everything go, getting more pussy was my NUMBER ONE mission and priority in life. After i let everything go, its sank down to like no.5 or number 6.
I switched. My beingness altered right then and there. TD speaks about an inner compass. I felt my inner compass point to in a direction, and point to it with such strength and conviction:
“make money, start a small business, throw my self in business, keep busy”
I feel so strongly that ive found direction in life. All because i let go of my self esteem issues and i was using pussy as a void to make my self feel that i was indeed handsome or attractive or adequate. Its so damn weird!
Your post hit home for me so hard! For the past week ive been enjoying life! Ive made plans to go back to BJJ, to learn hypnosis once and for all, ivebeen making calls to cognitive therapy training workshops because i want to learn it, ive been applying for jobs with such intense fury ( like sitting up till 3am sending out my CV to employers ). I have a bachelors degree and a masters degree and i was still unemployed because i was goofing off chasing girls looking for fullfillment and an answer to my questions. The community made it worse.
God damn, i was in a daze. You wrote in your post :
Quote:
It’s also HUGE when it comes to finding the right girl. If you’re secure with yourself, you will look at meeting a woman as an enrichment to your life, and even as a chance for you to offer value to someone else, instead of looking for someone to fill the void of emptiness in your heart.
HOLY FUCKIN SHIT!
I feel the exact same way! Haha no word of a lie but when i started feeling like this i immediatly thought that if i wanted to chat a girl up id roll up to her and say something lilike “you could be a nice addition into my life “
I honestly felt like that. And the 2nd part:
Quote:
If you’re happy, you can walk away from any woman because you don’t feel like you need her, and it’s that indifference that makes you tenfold more attractive because it shows that you are secure enough to walk away.
Holy shit dude, thats how i feel. I dont know how to explain it but girls are just not that important anymore. What ever happend inside me has made me feel that i have other obligations and priorities FIRST and that girls are definatly near the bottom somewhere. I just dont care like i used to.
I havent even sarged all week! Instead ive been frantically applying for jobs, writing CV, looking at courses and just breathing in the air and enjoying my life. I really cannot wait to start working and become busy with employment sothat i can start off my own businesses and look after my self and all my family. Ive just changed, dramatically.
I wonder where you are on the journey but i just want u to know that what you were feeling when u wrote that post is something i understand now. Thanks so much for writing it. It totally owns.
This post was a mammoth one, damn sorry bro!
peace!
July 16th, 2008 at 8:43 pm
Just wanted to give you an update. I now have nice job and i work 3 days a week. This week was my first week. I am focussed on making money and taking care of my self aswell as building a better man.
I’ve been attending gruelling muay thai classes and have a goal to step into the ring at a certain date. Ive been reading books, hanging out and doing stuff that i enjoy. I enjoyed watching the euro2008 football tournemant. I had so much pleasure watching it and then going to sleep.
But..yes yes, your asking: what about girls?
Its funny, i feel a lot less need for girls. Ive realised that although a girl might be pretty, it doesnt mean i like her. Anyway, a girl is txting me and reaching out to me on weekends. I met two more girls yesterday.
It was ridiculously easy. I am normally calm around girls but this time it was a higher level.
One girl gave me her number to which i sent her a txt “Hi Alana, this is . Keep in touch.”
Thats it. The other i gave my number to.
And the funny thing is, i havent even thought about them gettin in touch. It doesnt matter at all.
What does the future hold? Anything my mind focusses upon!
July 17th, 2008 at 1:41 pm
Very proud of ya!
It comes down to balance. We have a tendency to try and balance our lifestyle by going to the opposite extremes of the challenges we face, but then we end up neglecting some other area of our life. Hitting the clubs once or twice a week is a small investment of time to have women chasing you when you have an excellent lifestyle, but it should never interfere with your core purpose in life.
Have you read The 4-Hour Work Week. This book changed my life! It is truly about focusing on what really makes you happy.
I’m focusing on studying finances at this time as well. A couple books I’d recommend are Secrets of the Millionaire Mind for inner game (yes, amazingly inner game is very much related to wealth), and The Richest Man In Babylon. Both have been very enlightening for me.
Glad to hear! Keep me updated.