Keep Your Power

Once upon a time I approached forty women and asked them if they’d like to sleep with me.

It took me months of conditioning to build up enough confidence to do that confidently.

…And it only took me a couple weeks to lose it all.

Whenever life got busy I had to drop my social activities, and my confidence would fade away. Then a couple weeks later I’d be back at the clubs eight days a week trying to regain it. With enough consecutive nights out, I’d get it back, only to lose it again when I had no time to go out.

What a vicious cycle it was!

As I started to wonder why I was losing my momentum, I was noticing things about my lifestyle.

By day, I was just an another jackass, not exceptionally friendly or outgoing. My social interactions were limited to my existing friends, the same people I saw every day, or the waitresses and cashiers who were required to talk to me.

By night, I was out partying, hitting on girls, making new friends, and being the life of the party. I knew all the staff and all the regular bar stars at my favourite clubs and couldn’t walk down the nightclub strips without running into people I recognized.

Every day I’d wake up as a different person, and every night I’d go to sleep as another person.

The solution was so obvious!

I didn’t have to do five-thousand more approaches. What would be the point? I’d done so many I pretty much knew what to expect. I didn’t have to watch 23 more seminars. I’d seen far too many as it was.

If I ever wanted to keep that momentum, there was only one way to bridge the gap:

I had to stop spending all that time trying to “get into state” and start living my life in that state, constantly.

I had to take the risk of being just as outgoing in a grocery store, on the street, on the bus, or at the gym, as when I was when I was out the club.

Even if it seemed weird and unusual, I wanted to become the kind of person who broke all social barriers.

For me to keep my momentum and bridge the gap between the different lives I was living, I decided to change a few things:

1. Speak to everyone. This is how I stay “in state” pretty much all the time. It’s been as simple as saying “how’s it going?” to the cashiers, waitresses, people in line, at the gym, on the train, and all people who come across my path in my daily life. Not only was this change the trick to preventing the loss of all my momentum, but it has lead to tons of opportunities that allowed me to build a massive social network.
2. Lead a more interesting life. For me, I had to give up going out eight nights a week and get back in touch with all the fun hobbies I had before I let the game take over my life. When I picked up my hobbies again and spent more time with friends, I was meeting naturally just by doing fun stuff and rarely ever going to a club. The biggest difference came from simply asking myself what really makes me happy.
3. Be social over seductive. Being socially-connected is a characteristic of a naturally social guy, and from my experiences I was not having success building a social network by trying to sleep with every girl I met. When I focused on having fun and making friends, I stopped walking into every social situation thinking about how I was going to seduce women, which was the exact barrier holding me back from so many great social interactions.

It took a while, but I eventually adopted all these behaviours. It was easy to practice because I no longer had to go out eight nights a week, and I had to fall back in love with all my hobbies, hang out with all my friends, and have a good time.

At first I didn’t want to become a more social and less aggressive guy because I felt that being more social meant I was being an “excuser” or that I was going to fall into the “just a friend” category, but it’s not really like that at all. The reality is that when I’m having a good time and not just looking to pickup chicks is when I meet the most women. Of course, if I use this as a technique to pickup girls it doesn’t work… but that’s a whole other blog post.

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